Apparently Google has its knickers all in a twist over those cunts in the Eu and some shite about cookies. Frankly if they are biscuits then I will eat them, if you are concerned about this then fuck off somewhere else and read something else.

Friday, 30 September 2011

Even hotter today

Dear BBC

It may have escaped your notice that some of us viewers (or are we customers now?) live in the real world away from the airconditioned studio. I know you are doing the big outside live broadcast nowadays and even standing outside a darkened school at 1030 at night to prove it but its still pish, here yesterday the mercury hit 41 degrees centigrade, yes even in Eu money its fecking warm;

So I went stalking and spent most of the evening sat in the shade of a big oak swatting the midgies and avoiding the sheep poo!

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

How unlucky is that?

Picking up an excited cocker whilst his siblings are bouncing around trying to get into the truck proves the point about small dogs big poo!

unseaonably warm weather

for this time of year but who am i to complain!

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Todays humour


I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

15. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

17. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Normal blogging will resume shortly.

Monday, 19 September 2011

The Midland Game Fair 2011

So trailer loaded and ducks lined up ready, must be the final show of the year, thank god for that one!
The Tea Lady had the stand in good order in no time, The Suburban Bushwhacker came along and had a wander round, the weekend topped off by meeting Ghost Rifle, on his feet after being unwell;

The showground filled up quickly as usual on the saturday morning, as per usual there were plenty of examples of what some people thought might be suitable attire, yes it was trying to rain;

Nice Boots;

Well boots are good and the legs went a long way;

More nice boots;

1st evening and we lit the Ozpig, a few beers and some venison meatballs later;

And focussing became a bit harder;

The next day dawned bright, even the solar panels charged up the batteries for a while. Then the dreaded or celebrated red/pink cords put in an appearance;

Plum coloured here, almost a match for the Burgundy throwing dummy;

The ice cream van seemed to be a popular spot to ambush the wearers;


The pink sweater was watching the dog scurry run offs, it attracted a fair crowd, would have preferred them spending but at least they kept the flyball idiots and their schreeching announcer.out of the arena;

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Where's wally?

Well apparently here today! A quick break before a job interview which went well!

Monday, 5 September 2011

Chatsworth House country fair 2011 part 2 the positive side

On the drive in through Matlock we saw a nicely classic converted forward control camper;

2 hours work and the trade stand is built, left setting up the racking and display till the next morning;

A quick set up the next morning and the day was spent wandering around the grounds, having spent the best part of £500 to be there somehow another £13 to look at the waterfall was a bit of a pisstake, still plenty to see as folk were setting up;

A Daimler Dingo? being delivered;

Ah a saracen, been rattled around in one of those, West Belfast circa 1983;

The Musical ride of the Blues and Royals getting some rehearsal time in;

Opening up for business on day one, overcast skies and not many punters;

The clay pigeons get bigger every year;

Some punters start to roll in;

The showground starts to fill up but very slowly;

On the plus side Sassy came along to be a reluctant model;

Fortunately not a reluctant demonstrator, it always amazes me how many gun dogs cant do simple retrieves and have no patience to wait for the go command;

Well I suppose the positive side is that we are back now and getting ready for the final event of the year, the Midland at Weston Park. I will leave the final word to a fellow trader;

"Trader (holding pheasant dummy).."morning sir"

Joe Public "What's that?

Trader "A pheasant Dummy"

Joe Public"I'm not a dummy I asked you a civilised Question!!!

"Trader" No sir its a pheasant dog training device I throw it for the dog to retrieve"

Joe Public " That's cruel it must hurt"

Trader (puzzled irritated but polite)"Hurt what sir?"

Joe Public"The Pheasant"

Trader (bewildered)"But its dead"

Joe Public" Well it would be if the dog got it"

Trader"Right Sir" (retires before a sarcastic reply gets him thrown off the site)"

Says it all really!

Chatsworth House country fair 2011

Well for the second year running we attended, this time it was chaos personified, 6 showers and 6 loos of which 4 of the showers worked to luke warm and were only switched on on day 1 of the fair, what on earth the folk who have been building trade stands all week are supposed to do god knows, a little diesel spent on the generator creates a lot of good will.
Chatsworth is in many ways a typical country fair, a big arena with a few things taking place which the vast majority of folk strung out in the trade stands dont get to see. Typically you are ranged randomely in lines with very limited space at the rear to admin your business and strict limits on movement and access. The show has gone the way of many over the years, away from the main arena and the £5 burger stands the trade seems to be dominted by car dealerships and jacuzzi sales.
Now the show does stand out for its remarkable gun dog events but surely the gun dog events would have a mini gun dog traders village alongside where competitors and spectators can buy the specialised items from traders. No we were told, it would be too exclusive!
so exclusive like the craft tents or the food halls?
I'm sorry Chatsworth but if you want the fair to have any country feel left in it and not become the same as the other big money making efforts on the circuit where the countryside is only driven through to get to an overpriced ticket booth for an expensive mall of housewares and market stalls then you need to put a real emphasis on the gun dogs and have main arena displays with the commentry pointing out that the displays are actually showing what tthe competitors are doing in the 3 or 4 arenas near the river.
Also how can the competition winners pick their prizes if it means spending an hour walking around the show looking for the sponsors stand?
Come on Chatsworth get a grip.