Apparently Google has its knickers all in a twist over those cunts in the Eu and some shite about cookies. Frankly if they are biscuits then I will eat them, if you are concerned about this then fuck off somewhere else and read something else.

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Highclere Castle Game and Country fair

Well we arrived, set up and this year camped out. It was a gloomy start to both days and it certainly rained on our camp fire attempts to watch the football on the little screen;

Dinner was sausage sarnies on the Ozpig and then it was used again the next night for a lovely beef stew. The pig lit well with one portion of quick lighting BBQ coal followed by some lovely dry English Hardwood logs;

Again the morning broke cool and slightly drizzly but soon changed as can be seen, the stand was smaller this year but it didnt seem to reflect in the pace of business;

Our Neighbours were selling attractive looking ladies country clothing, fortunately to attractive looking country ladies here;

And Here;

And Here;

The red cords/jeans made an appearance, its a game fair after all;

Slightly offset by the humorous tee shirts on display;

The second Morning was pretty dire looking;

Especially when compared to the same time the day before;

More red cords on day 2;
And more;

Tracked into the stand;

Topped by this rather pink pair though;

The Neighbours;

Very nice they were and a pleeasure to be there. I would like to thank Mc Shug and Helen for helping out, we really couldnt have done it without them!

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

From this:

To this:

In one hour felt good, a ton of oak in the shed drying for this winter.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Is this for real?

Before you condemn out of hand I have seen this happen to a seal on a kelp strewn beach in Falkland Sound almost 30 years ago;

So what do you reckon?

Time to ressurect the Darwin Awards?

If so then thanks to Toni this is one surefire candidate;

Keep them coming in!

Not the sort of cocktail I would recommend

Not safe for work, in fact not safe for mealtimes either, you have been warned;

Thanks to AJD for that one.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Saturday, 21 May 2011

2nd work party done

So another weekend and another work party, this time Suburbanbushwacker and I viewed the rotting skulls experiment, the roe hadnt worked as well;

As the Fallow Pricket;

The drainage ditch got the pipe installed and we backfilled today;

Hopefully the tree stump market should stop the cars deviating from the path and into the ditch;

We cut a beaters path through the Rhodedendrons on Millies drive, the branches were at least 4 inches across, they needed chainsaws not brushcutters;

SBW here risking all for a go with the brushcutter, you can see how dense the growth is;

At the end of the party the dogs look suitably exercised;

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

lekker cabbie

And so it begins

So far out of all the Osama jokes this has to be the best so far;

Thanks to Nigel for that one!

Sunday, 15 May 2011

another week

Another week flies by, no time to post or even take happy snaps. Yesterday saw the park wood team out clearing rhodedendrons and repairing feeders. no rain to speak of yet and the birds are due next month. I should get out this week to do some odd jobs and order the feed.

Monday, 9 May 2011

The weekend found us in Nottingham

The Tea Lady, left hooker and I drove up in the truck so left Hooker could participate in the NAYBC Nationals, a long trip, some 3 1/2 hours of mainly motorway driving at painful pace through the average speed cameras found us still in t5ime for registration and a team photo or two;
Saturday evening found us at the oldest pub n England, a trully interesting experience;

Left Hooker and Curtis bowled together well on sunday morning, unfortunately the results arent yet out so we will have to wait another week I suppose to find out exactly how well we did;

Still all done and a wacky races moment heading for the motorway south!

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Friday, 6 May 2011

osama who?

So the jokes have come almost as thick and fast as the liberal hand wringing from the likes of the druid in chief who looks remarkably like the subject of all the current rash of humour.

Thanks to Mr FMT for that!

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

A sunny bank holiday weekend

What more fun could be had than trying out the dummy launcher?

Dear Seb Coe

Taken from Me and My Big Mouth with thanks to Mr FMT for bringing this to me.
"Dear Seb Coe,
I have just applied for London 2012 tickets. It was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life, and this is coming from a man who has had a colonoscopy.

Allow me to elaborate.

Tickets, as you know, will be allocated by a sort of ballot or lottery system. This, at initial glance, seems fair. Rather than first-come-first-served, everyone has an equal chance of getting a ticket. In reality this means I have no idea whether I will actually get the tickets I have applied for.

This leaves me with a dilemma. Do I just apply for one lot of tickets, for an event I really want to see? Or do I hedge my bets and apply for a number of tickets across a range of events and dates in the hope of at least getting one batch?

I have opted for the latter. It would be hugely disappointing to apply for one event and fail, thereby ending my participation in the Olympics a year before they actually start. I am hoping my strategy pays off and that I am able to take my family to at least one event.

Ahh yes, my family. They are a lovely bunch but they are proving to be bloody expensive to bring along with me. I have a wife (at the time of writing that is, she may leave me when she finds out how much I have potentially pissed away on your tickets) and two children - Ethan (12) and Martha (9). None of us are particular sporty - Ethan plays tennis once a week and Martha has a regular gymnastics class - but we are all quite excited about the Olympics and recognise that this is the only chance we will have to see them in our own country.

I have applied for 4 tickets to 5 separate events - two different days of athletics, a day of tennis, one of gymnastics and one of rowing. The rowing is of particular interest as we live in Windsor and it is taking place within walking distance of our house.

The cost for these tickets - and in nearly every case we have gone for the cheapest available option - comes to £723 pounds. That's SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE POUNDS. I cannot actually afford this - and I am not what anyone would describe as badly off - so I bloody well hope we aren't successful in all of our applications but your allocation system means that loads of people are taking a similar approach - apply for loads and pray that you don't actually get them. A bit of a daft situation Seb, old bean, don't you think?

Now, before you start spouting off about all the splendid special offers that are available - kids only pay their age and all that bollocks - such deals were only available for one of the events we have applied for, and our applications are not all for big finals days. I have had to pay full whack for nearly every ticket. One of my group is 9 years old. She doesn't even have to pay full fare on the train and train companies are the biggest lot of thieving toerags out there. Bad show, sir, bad show.

But, you know, an opportunity such as this really does only come round once in a lifetime so perhaps I shouldn't moan so much. I am, after all, quite fortunate. For one thing, I happen to have a Visa card. If I didn't then you wouldn't have let me apply for any tickets at all.

And I am sure I can make a few savings here and there between now and the big event to make sure that we can afford the high cost of actually attending these games that are supposedly going to inspire and delight us. For example, I could take a packed lunch to the events themselves, that will save a few bob. What's that? Sorry? Oh, I see, I am not allowed to take any food or drink into the venues? I have to purchase these items from approved vendors inside? And what will the prices be like? No, no, let me guess, how does FUCKING EXPENSIVE sound to you? I hope I am wrong but if I have to pay £5 for a hot dog I am going to hunt you down and shove it up your failed Tory arsehole. With mustard.

A stupid allocation system which means I have over-applied purely to stand a chance of seeing something, anything. Credit card restrictions that must surely fall foul of EU competition laws. A ban on cheese sandwiches and Kia-Ora. This is supposed to be fun, Lord Coe, fun and exciting, instead it is deflating, demotivating and depressing.

But at least you are aren't charging me £6 to send me my tickets, that would be taking the piss.

What's that? Oh, you complete cunt.

Yours sincerely,

Scott Pack"

Monday, 2 May 2011

In Memoriam, not alf

Who said you couldnt take a Bin out on a Bank Holiday?

The Census

They sent my Census form back!!

In answer to the question,

'Do you have any dependants?',
I put,

'Asylum seekers, gypos, smack heads, unemployable bastards, the cast of The Jeremy Kyle Show, Northern Rock, RBS, Ireland, Portugal and half of f*****g Eastern Europe!'

...apparently this wasn't an acceptable answer

Thanks to Clive and his constant source of jokes!