Apparently Google has its knickers all in a twist over those cunts in the Eu and some shite about cookies. Frankly if they are biscuits then I will eat them, if you are concerned about this then fuck off somewhere else and read something else.

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Seeing how I'm going to be tired and emotional right up to Saturday morning

I thought I would cover a base or two with this;

Laugh? Well you have to really dont you?

Monday, 27 July 2009

Sod it here are some pics anyway.

Mk1 Tiger?
FV432/40 (poss/30)

155mm Long Tom

Funny chap thinks he's a Herman

M3 Stuart or even Honey

M4 Sherman
& Mk 3 below I think

This footage was taken from the "Tank Ride", fun nonetheless!

Maybe I'll post some more later?

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Another busy weekend

A lovely family of 2 fawns with Mum the Roe Doe and Dad the buck were followed for about 3 hours.

It was a morning stalk/census and as such by noon I was dropping off to sleep.

I took No.1 son out in his car, or rather he took me out in his. Now I remember why you dont teach close relatives to drive.

Sunday came and is going as I type, the boys and I spent most of the day at the 2009 War and peace show at Beltring

What I thought would be a short day walt hunting and laughing at fat civvies dressed as fat SS Colonels was as far from the truth as possible. Yes there were a few odd characters but mostly it seemed to be just good fun. I mean who can resist this;

The lads and I took a ride on this adapted FV423;

I must host the pics online and put up a link, I hope the boys enjoyed looking as much as I did?

Friday, 24 July 2009

Another money pit arrives

Son No.1 being 18 and having spent the national debt on driving lessons (yet to pass the damn theory bit) is actually a good driver, we decided that an encouragement to passing his test would be to get him a run around.

Being of stout bulldog stock I decided that a 4wd was the very least we could do. Sourcing one cheap enough and also one we could afford to insure (lets face it he wont be paying will he?) is another matter entirely.

Still this week it finally arrived and with the new extortion certificate funded by bleeding me dry Ben will be driving around in this on Saturday morning if not before;

Its parked next to its stablemate of a very battered Jimny and a reasonable nick Isuzu truck;

Tuesday, 21 July 2009


A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,
"Say Father,what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies,
"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response,
"Well, I'll be damned, "
Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered,
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Crop circles?

Not down here in gods waiting room, here the local pissheads like to play with road cones, in a big way;

I'm sure were I driving to the station I could find a use for anti personnel mines!

I have it seems acquired a Chicken with a taste for the BBQ;

The birds seem to be settling well

Here are a few pics of the poults at the waterers;

More food to deliver tonight and a call to put into the feed supplier to get what we need for the birds!

Sunday, 19 July 2009

No pics this post

A great weekend and I spent saturday evening counting deer, 12 seen in 2 hours at one wood alone, we got very close.
Today the birds arrived, in an awful heavy downpour to boot. 250 birds from the Game farmer and a dozen that Elmer had reared on the living room floor. Sadly some escaped before Elmer could get them in the pen.
Thieving pikey gits had attempted to steal the shoot 4wd by breaking the ignition column. Tossers.
1 bird dead already but no real dramas, the dogs found the electric fence works!
Only 2 feeders to fix and whilst the rest of us have been at work Mad Frank Mitchell has cut several paths through the jungle. Beating next season should be easier!
Start feeding the pen already and the surround over the next two weeks. We will start mapping the feeders and paths ready for mid august when the birds will hopefully range around the shoot!

We did see a couple try to fly, kind of hope they fly better than this;

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Logic, its a bit like common sense, or is it?

Thanks to Mr Free Market for this one.
and thanks to my Kiwi mate, John for this one;
"How a marriage works"
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old mates.

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the pub, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different
kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland
, Japan , India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop....but at the know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
him by saying,

'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the pub they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious....
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the pub... You know...there's swearing,
dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your
Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it,

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Monday, 13 July 2009

A weekend of work and play

A trip to Reading on saturday morning to the second British Falconry Festival, this interesting event was sponsored by the folk from Abhu Dhabi.

Not a bad spot I'll admit, although the theme was a bit unusual, less of a game fair and a lot more festival. The participants certainly looked the part;

Some were trying harder than others;

The Arab chaps had a nice sized area set up with sand and all the bits and bobs you would expect to see;

Yes the camel is lying down, no comments about having the hump please.

The layout was good, most nations having displays, we walked around Europe towards China and Japan but the Georgian Marquee was shut up, maybe being next door to the Russians wasnt great planning?

Some stands had pig roasts but as some wag pointed out even the Mongolians seem to know how to BBQ;
Then the ring displays and sideshows were worthy of attention, some people are just plain barking;

The weekend wrapped up being on call by attending a saturday night shift to ensure that the maintenance contractors managed to do a job correctly, nice to be in as it happens, I caught the sight of the locals trying to dodge fairs on the tram network;

The main job went well, eventually despite everyones efforts at making a hash we got the job done, sadly it meant no sunday clay shoot, no gundog scurry and no trip to check on the pen!

Friday, 10 July 2009

Another weekend is upon us

I still havent sorted out the delivery of the pheasants (sorry lads, I will call around tomorrow to sort this) The Tea Lady and I are off to visit the British Falconry festival as trade guests in the morning after which I am back to work dealing with Germans and idiots. Its forecast for lots of rain as well on saturday night, oh the joy, no doubt I will be too knackered to clay shoot even if I get back in time and I wont make Michelham Priory this year either.

Until I can extract the digit this will have to do:

The new car designed for women;

Saturday, 4 July 2009

The Royal County Show at Maple Durham

This is where we spent the afternoon, it may have been its first year but its charges were on par with a much more popular and established show.
It was worth the journey of 104 miles each way for the scurry, we came 3rd overall and I think it was a bit basic but a good way to spend an afternoon.

This is Sassy bringing back the dummy, Her son Sampson below made the best two retrieves of the day according to the judges;

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Westminster maths

Westminster Maths .
1. Teaching Maths In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80. How much was his profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and Inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the Preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how might the birds and squirrels feel as the Logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.
6. Teaching Maths In 2009 A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be Offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the Felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his Chainsaw is in breach of Health & Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He Has used the Chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does Not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered To be a recividest and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his Details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is Taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood To build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, Prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a Further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and Sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ Of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish And asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to Clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He Complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace And invoiced £12000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated Government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be Arrested and fined before he realizes that he is never going to make £20 profit by Hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest Of his life?
7. Teaching Maths In 2010 A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan To buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a Derivative of securitized debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama And lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million Pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the Biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1200 road tax on his old lorry however, As it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations And he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it Back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send Their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their Relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport Them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they Return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The Logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is On the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1500 registration fees as a gang Master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's Are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the Difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

Thanks to HappyBonzo for this!