Apparently Google has its knickers all in a twist over those cunts in the Eu and some shite about cookies. Frankly if they are biscuits then I will eat them, if you are concerned about this then fuck off somewhere else and read something else.

Monday, 25 February 2008

Whilst I've been stuck at home and doing the round of job interviews

Richard has taken his family to Center Parcs and still managed to sneak in a bit of stalking in the meantime.

Very impressed with these 2 the Red Hind was a 200 yard shot the longest he has taken so far with his Blaser in 6.5 Swedish and the Muntjac was taken at 100 yards standing using sticks for support.

Well done you jammy bugger!

Friday, 22 February 2008

For all those that didnt believe the dumb blonde jokes.

I'm sure she is a natural;

There isnt really much more you can say about this is there?

I spent yesterday in town, I'll post some comparisom shots later, needless to say I wont be rushing back there, appointments next tuesday but if any of them want to argue the toss over the rates I wont bother attending. Its not worth the effort of £44 for a train ticket, an hour or more selling yourself for them to penny pinch the rates!

After all without the M word who on earth would swap this:

Or this:

Or even this:

For this:

Wednesday, 20 February 2008


A man was leaving a cafe when he noticed an unusual funeral. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.
The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied, "that first coffin is for my wife."
What happened to her?"
"My dog attacked and killed her."
Well, who is in the second coffin? "
"My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement , "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Join the queue
How not to do it:

And how to do it:

Yes the sunday was spent at Purley AMF for the youth singles tournament. Despite me not enjoying these events, (obnoxious pushy parents etc) I rather enjoyed this one until time to leave and punishment for low crappy stools is 24 hours of sciatica!

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

A day tearing around the woods topping up some pheasant feeders by using feed from ones that were still full since christmas

Putting up no trespass signs and generally enjoying myself, back to the house to find another job interview set up and planning a trip to move a trail cam and resite a high seat tomorrow.
I need to get these things done and to take a stalker for an assesment this week. If I start work again soon I wont have the time I need to fit everything in and I want to stalk weekends as well as week days.
In my inbox was this reminder of what a great act Benny Hill was, thanks Nigel:

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Now I must be odd thinking that a life sentence is for life

I know I will go to hell in the minds of all the penal reformers (cue sniggers) but if you get sent to prison for a disgusting crime such as rape, you get ill (hopefully terminally) and then us poor taxpayers then ensure you get treatment in a top hospital.
Thats bad enough but this scumbag does a runner, not the first time but twice. Panic in the streets as he is described as dangerous.
Now he was transferred from a secure Psychiatric unit to a normal A&E.
So many things are wrong here. If he is really dying then let him die in a cell all alone and save the taxpayer some money for once.
Apparently he was escorted by mental health care professionals, well that really makes me feel warm all over and No I havent wet myself. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.
If someone is ill in prison when I become Home Secretary in Jeremy Clarksons new Government then no one will escape and more bigger, nastier prisons will be built!

Friday, 15 February 2008

After a quiet morning in the woods seeing off tresspassing dogwalkers and no deer

I arrive home to find some humour from Nigel. Thanks mate.
This lot are titled; "Why you should give up drinking" Now where is my scotch?



Out again first thing to set a trail cam and do some deer counting!

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Something else

Popped into my inbox courtesy of the long haired 2 i/c. This one surprised me with the volume so be careful, it is safe for work though!

Some Wednesday morning Humour

After yesterdays fun and games I returned to find both of my email inboxes very full.

I thought I'd share some with you, roll on midday, I have a doe to butcher, a hide to freeze and dogs to walk not forgetting the usual mundane chores of job hunting and the best bit of booking the stalk for Friday morning. We will be visiting the same wood with the intention of thinning out the herd of Fallow Does.

Here are the latest offerings: This one should be entitled "just desserts."

This one is entitled "When its ok to wet your pants!"

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

A good days stalking

Richard bagged a lovely nice Roe Doe this morning. I was impressed, it was precisely where he saw one there last week. We met up and Richard had his first unnassited gralloch.

Richard decided to use the suspended from a nearby tree method.

Very good it was too.

This allowed him free access to the chest and stomach cavities. Richard is studying for his DSC level 1 and carried out a very good gralloch.

This means that the red and green plucks are free to fall clear. This ofcourse allows you time and space to inspect all the vital parts for the important diseases and infections.

A short while after this another Roe Doe was bagged, a great heart shot and very impressive. This one was gralloched on the floor;

This one was recovered by the african game pole method. The gralloch revealed a massive exit wound:

The heart and lungs were smashed completely. On bleeding out a massive gush of blood poured forth.

After a hearty breakfast we visited another wood to move 2 high seats out of a tricky spot to a place where we can view more deer now that the weather is good and the vegetation will soon be growing again. Whilst doing this we witnessed 4 Roe Does being chased by a Roebuck across the valley we were siting a seat to cover. That should provide some very interesting sights this year.

Saturday, 9 February 2008

Who will rid me of this troublesome priest

Again another of the god botherers thinks that he is important enough to change this sceptic isle and the laws that we have developed over 2000 years of civilisation.
To quote Mr Free Market there's room on the Tyburn tree for all of them.
I think it was Kim who said first that"Religious conflict is all about my imaginary friend is bigger than yours"
If any of them think that God has anything to do with this and in particular their version of God then a special padded cell is available thats if the liars and Thieves havent sold them all for development.
Time to load more ammo, someone said last week that we will need a wall as long as the great china to put up all the naer do wells that are destroying this country. Rubbish you only need a small wall and a big queue.

Friday, 8 February 2008

Quick update on Sassy and the pups

Today we took them to the vets to be docked and have the dew claws removed. Up until last year a travelling vet would do this and use a small lambing ring. This was excellent as the pups didnt notice the tips dropping off. Nowadays it is done with surgical snips by the vet. 1/2 an hour later and all of them are back with mum being sniffed and cleaned. I have created an album online so if anyone wants to see the pups develop please drop me a line.

Now before anyone decides upon informing the RSPCA etc all parts of the Animal Welfare act were taken into account and paperwork completed. I'm not one for docking any tails or cropping ears for cosmetic reasons but these pups are intended to be sold to working homes and thus have been saved many trips to the vet for broken tails and bleeding tips.
Mind you if I was a minority other than white and a countrysport loving native of this country I could claim it was done for religeous reasons and have no bother from the whitehall worriers such as if it were Halal or Kosher but never mind eh!

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Sorry I couldnt resist this one

All day today spent deer stalking

That was the plan, everything bar the rifle and ammo was laid out.
Half past five last night and Sassy my 4 year old English Springer Spaniel Bitch decided to go into labour. She went very cold started to pant, pace around and climbed in and out of the whelping box. I rang in to cancel my attendance and Sassy spent the night climbing on and off the bed.

This morning at 0815 she dropped a lovely marked liver and white bitch on the living room floor and shortly afterwards another one on the kitchen floor. They were popping out about an hour apart and now since then nothing.

4 pups and we are still waiting hoping that we dont have a trip to the vets.

Saved, at 12 35 out pops the second bitch.
Now they are coming out every 10 to 20 minutes.
Just to totally gross you out!

To complete the grossness here she is whelping:

Tuesday, 5 February 2008

BBC Again

Sat in front of the square nanny and on comes Newsround, staffed by trendy twits with apparently vacuous smiles but a pro Europe Agenda.
They were polling the usual suspects about whether kids should be paid to go to Libraries or not but guess what coinage that they showed in the graphics. Damned Euros thats what.
Typical BBC and the program presenters are vacuous examples of dumbed down diversity!
I havent forgiven them for a 1990 cock up when they showed Yemen on the Middle East Map where Lebanon actually is.
Unique way its funded alright by us mugs!

Zulu the remake

In the finest traditions of Hollywood there are rumours that Zulu is to be remade;
I would like to thank the Army Rumour Service for pointing this one out!

Whilst we are looking at fag ads My Wife pointed out this great one, neither of us smoke but Gregor Fisher is really very good:

Monday, 4 February 2008

Monday Evening Humour

As a follow on from this morning;

As tomorrows stalking has been put back 24hrs I shall have a snifter of Sloe Gin and a lie in!

I am waiting for my bitch Sassy to give birth, she has a litter due this week.

Monday Morning Humour

My dogs suggested I send this out for our information!!

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

'1' Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all !!!

'2' Yelling at me for barking. I'M A DOG, YOU IDIOT!

'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

'5' Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

'6' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

'7' Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

'8' Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

'9' Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

'10' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?



Sunday, 3 February 2008

A very good collection of stories

From Operation Banner the British Army operations in Northern Ireland in support of Law and Order. Sent in by a Labour Government and eventually withdrawn by another. Nearly 40 years of murder by bombing and shooting of all persons civilian, military and police.
Now Ken Wharton has compiled stories from servicemen and women who did time in Ulster.
Now if anyone wants to find out what it was really like to serve in the most successful counter insurgency operation of the 20th Century I recommend getting an order in with Helion Books.

Find out how the soldiers survived 39 years whilst the politicians faffed about trying to get a solution.

Remember it was politics that caused the troubles and politicians that sent the troops in. Only politicians could withdraw the Army!

A visit to see my love child

This morning I ventured over to Hove to The Brighton and Hove Gun Room run by Dave.

This emporium of all things I hold dear was by personal arrangement and cost me a dozen Quail eggs and a small bottle of 2006 Sloe Gin.

My I was impressed, Manlicher Schoenauers in 9mm, in fact in every possible calibre, I'm surprised my dearest long suffering wife put up with me being locked in the gun room for 2 hours.

Dave has given me some ideas regarding moving my collection along, I think an application to become an RFD is in line.

I did however get to play with my baby which some of you may recall from earlier posts that I had seen this and absolutely had to get my greasy mitts on it. Well I have and although I still have some hoops to jump through money being one of them I hope to take this rifle stalking Roebuck in the coming season.

This is she in all her glory, so light and easy to swing a joy of engineering converted to a cased take down rifle by a true professional.
We know when the rifle was made but not when it was converted, apart from whoever did that didnt do it yesterday, you would need free donor rifles to make that profitable.

The scope is a wonderful claw mounted german piece which has see through mounts for those close encounters of the furry kind.

I have received instructions on how to adjust for elevation so I will be able to help Mr Free Market who will be receiving an invite to a special summer sporting match along with Ex_Stab.

Here she is in all her assembled glory, less than 5 minutes to put together and a superb and beautiful rifle ready to thin the herd is sat waiting to be loaded.

This is the view from the other side, I suppose you will have to take my word for this. I would like to thank Milsurp After Hours for bringing this rifle to my attention.

The rifle is almost as when first out of the factory apart from the bolt handle being turned down and the rear scallopped, the furniture being cut to come apart and go back together and the scope mounts.