Apparently Google has its knickers all in a twist over those cunts in the Eu and some shite about cookies. Frankly if they are biscuits then I will eat them, if you are concerned about this then fuck off somewhere else and read something else.

Monday, 31 December 2007

I'm not sure why the wife was a tad upset at Christmas

Perhaps offering to cook the lunch for all the relatives and forgetting to mention I got the recipe from some publication like Viz:

1. Cut out aluminium foil to desired shapes.
2.Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully( see picture for details:
3. Roast to your own recipe and serve.
4. Watch your guests faces.

Saturday, 29 December 2007

The last Pheasant shoot of the year

Well at least the season runs to the end of January and today my youngest lad decided to take up the gun:

Ok so a single shot .410 to be precise but it is an Anschutz.

He wears the cartridge belt like Pancho Villa and despite being convinced he had shot first a Pheasant then a wood cock the only tally again was a single Squirrell. At least this mexican revolutionary is doing his bit to preserve the native reds!

I must get him out with the duck and goose flighting before the season ends! Anyone know where you can get non toxic in .410?

Oh and thanks to Nigel and the two Richards for shooting, Vanessa and Charles and Richard for beating.

See you all in the new year.

Maybe I can leave you all with a little clip of how it should be done?

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Well the Christmas Eve Stalk

Never happened, one of those things I suppose. I did wander around some new land with a new stalker helping to site some high seats.

Christmas came and went a trip to the Outlaws passed resonably uneventfully:

Some reasonable scenery along the A27.

A day later we were back in Hampshire at the shoot:

The only problem was the weather, a strong south westerly and very mild. Bugger all birds shown in the end and I forgot to drop some stuff off at the in laws.

Some birds were shot! Not enough to make up a bag photo but at least we had some happy faces from Nigel, Vanessa, William and Charles:

Sunday, 23 December 2007

Merry Christmas you lot.

By the time most of you will read this I'll be out stalking possibly with a hangover.

This allegedly has something to do with global warming but its seasonal, I personally prefer this:

Meanwhile over at Paws for Thought Tams has stocked up in response to the Christmas rush with deliveries from Dokken and Sporting Saint. We now have fur covered dummies, dummies up to 3 lb Hare dummies , Dokken Dead Fowl Launcher dummies, Green winged Teal and Grouse with the necessary scent kits.

If you dont believe how a well trained dog can increase your bag have a look at these:

Friday, 21 December 2007

As today is the last one at the day job for this year at least

Have a nice crimbo and I'll see if I still have a job after tomorrow nights staff do!

Thursday, 20 December 2007

Take a look at this

Look at the picture here and you can see where this guy broke through the guardrail, right side where the people are standing on the road (pointing). ?The pick-up was traveling from right to left when it crashed through the guardrail. ?It flipped end-over-end, across the culvert outlet, and landed right side up on the left side of the culvert facing the opposite direction from which he was travelling. ?
Now look at the 2 ND picture below...

If this guy didn't believe in God before, do you suppose he believes now?

And this dear cletus

Hopefully Christmas eve will see me stalking our cloven hoof friends and also taking a new chapp for a wander around!

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Time to try something new

I saw this and thought some of you may like this, it also helps me practise expanding the use of my blog!

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Whilst driving home this evening

like the old fart I am I enjoy listening to PM on Radio 4. It despite being a BBC radio program (cue lefty, trendy, townie rubbish about foxes and badgers) has a go at all politicians and does its best to put the lying two faced scum on the spot. The problem is that most of them are shameless.
If only they were half as interesting as Shameless then perhaps life would be bearable, I know the cast are all scallies but that is sadly where you author is from until my mother thankfully evacuated us to Cornwall where despite there being nothing to vandalise Bambibashers older brother couldnt kick his habits.
Luckily I joined the army and here I am.
Anyway back to Radio 4 and the announcement that the Liberal Democrat leadership election result was announced.
Now far from me to bore your already dull midweek evenings with such tripe, the literal dems are usually boring enough for that without my help. I want you to consider the party of liberalism and high taxes that cant really make its own mind up on what day it is has managed to elect a leader.
The obvious clue to all of this is in the poll results, bland faceless no one No1 polled 20, 477 votes against some other nobody that polled 20, 988 votes. How did they manage to get 42,000 adults to admit to being party members and look even then they could hardly tell the difference between two former euro party trough snufflers and the one that won has been in westminster for all of two years. well the Call me dave brigade must be quaking in their collective shoes now.
I dont think so somehow, which is a pity as they need a kick up their jacksies if they are to overturn the stalinists embedded in Whitehall now.

To keep you amused whilst I do some work!

This has been doing the rounds for a while but thanks to Elmer Fudd for passing this on!

Thanks to Mr FM for this and like him Rum Sodomy and the Lash is one of my favourite LPs of all time!

Some people have style, grace and flair, some are just lucky enough to be able to shoot deer from their hot tub but at least with a nice rifle!

Before I go and spend some more unearnt money on cleaning rods for my rifles, (carbon fibre rods at that) I will leave you with something suitably seasonal:

Saturday, 15 December 2007

A great day on the shoot today

It was,

Freezing cold quite literally and most of the birds sat tight in the cover. It was blowing freezing cold eaterly wind and even 3 layers of clothing couldnt keep me warm. Thankfully a good days beating worked followed by steak and real ale in the pub afterwards.
Roger dragged out his secretary who sadly despite being a pure 100% stunner doesnt seem to like having her picture taken.

Drinks were taken by the beaters before the last drive! Obviously everything came with ice wanted or not.

There were the usual crew of motley mutts present as well as a new pair of beaters Father and son team courtesy of NOBS.

The bag though not massive was still appreciated by all the team who took home something.

click on this for a laugh

Friday, 14 December 2007

Hilarious start to the weekend

I hope your dinner parties dont go like this:

I was hoping to do something like this:

but it probably will be more like this:

Thursday, 13 December 2007

Thanks to the Army Rumor Service for this one:

Found on ARRSSE where several ex squaddies now coppers are attempting to defend their right to whinge at the moment:
I understand Arthur Scargill has been asked to take command of a Citizens’ Militia who, in the event of a Police strike, would:
- wave their pay packets in striking rozzers’ faces
- establish an unlawful central control centre to direct Militia resources to deal with unlawful Police Federation secondary picketing
- persuade the army to dress up in Militia uniforms
- protect Nottinghamshire coppers when they refuse to strike- arrange an historic ‘Battle of Hendon Wood’ where former miners mounted on Blackpool donkeys would mount ferocious baton charges on fresh-faced police probationers
Beware: the government has been stockpiling CSOs. This is not strategically a good time to strike.
The first Police Wives Support Group has been form in Romford, Essex.
Spokesperson Tracy Shagalott explained:
“No way will the girls tolerate going without a regular supply of imitation leopard skin crombies, MegaArgos Patio BBQ sets and getting their tits done twice a year. We’re here for the duration.”
Good one Trace!

Quick update

It was the battery wot dun it guv!
It seems that driving a new diesel rarely doesnt do the battery any good so madam had to get over to the dealers and they changed it!

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Please consider this

Consider helping someone out please

Mid winter fun

Phone call from the Furher whilst chatting with Nigel the baker, "it wont start"," what wont?" and so it went on, it seems her diesel truck doesnt like the first decent frost we've had this year.

Tough I had to scrape my windows this morning before driving to work. I was a little later than normal and there were still plenty of Fallow out in the fields alongside. It seems that either everyone goes to work at the same time as I normally do or the new bridge at Beddingham being opened is too much to resist?

Still time for some humour:

This also appeared in my in box thanks to Jeremy who obviously isnt as busy as he should be, its taken from the Freelander advert of a few years ago and now entitled "How to spot a Blond Antelope!":

No doubt I will be held to blame for her truck not starting even though it is madam herself who hasnt let the glow plugs light go out on the dash before turning the engine over.

It needs doing though as I want to be in Hampshire this saturday for some more of this:

Although I do rather fancy some of what my Canadian friends are getting up to:

That said TrazTaz in Germany sent me something to drool over:

From the top down:Remington 700 .308

Parker Hale 9,3X62 ( PIG STOPPER!!)

Toz .22Merkel 16 bore with interchangable barrles for a rifle shotty combi,

7x57r(very nice gun)left cz75 9mmright weirauch

.375 magmerkel 12 bore aya lincoln 12 side by side

( you just gotta look English at some shoots!!)

Good hunting!! You seen any pig yet?

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

Decembers Junior pinup?

Whilst I was at work today, Dominic our little springer cocker cross found out where the cat flap is:

Yes he did get out the little shoite!

Sunday, 9 December 2007


for those of you who havent heard this before it's an annual gathering of riflemen for a shooting match, in this case our club holds this early in december.

We braved some appalling typical Bisley weather to take part in a match using everything from Muzzle loaders, Black Powder breech loaders to modern rifles.

here a few pictures from today:

Myself clambering around with my Ross.

Another couple of members shooting alongside:

This is a Savage, a 99 I believe in .300 savage! Nice.

My Great Uncle In Montreal had one many years ago!

This smart looking match model of a 1903 Springfield was accompanied by some slightly older rifles.

A nice trapdoor model shot alongside some other nice examples.

This one has the same sort of bayonet that allegedly Teddy Roosevelt had removed from the trials 1903.

This to me looks like a private or Volunteer version, perhaps we can have some ideas on this?
Anyway despite the weather we had a good shoot and lunched afterwards on Snake and Pigmy pie at the Clubhouse of the Honourable Artillery Company.

Something I forgot to mention whilst driving back across the range, proof that Michael Howard and those other cowards whose idea of law enforcement is to create new laws rather than enforce existing ones:

Ok so its sat down at 600 yards on Century but it has one pistol grip and a relatively short barrel. Most importantly its sticking two fingers up to those clowns in the Home Office!
Yeah really committed to controlling gun crime, banning private ownership really worked didnt it you spineless control freaks. Instead of finding those responsible and punishing them under the law you demonised law abiding citizens who will never forgive you lying thieving scum.

Thursday, 6 December 2007

My December pin up

What a stunner!

Where was wally working?

Ok so the bus should tell you which town I was in, the skyline behind is the real clue.
I had to survey a couple of sites in town and this spot was first on
the list.

No clearer?
Here you go then:

With thanks to Mr FM for this:

Finally from a friend:

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

more snouts in the trough

So as the skeletons fall out of the closets Broon the one eyed git must be hoping that they will deflect the flak from him. Not only is the leader of the porrige wog neu arbeit guilty of accepting unlawful donations but Peter "Dipped in tea" Hain another double (probably brown) hatter has also been caught with his nose in the trough.
Labours answer to its own inability to obey laws they introduced themselves is predictable; new legislation possibly to allow public funding of these career criminals.
The last thing this country needs is more legislation when the current clowns cant even obey the existing ones! That is typical of politicians, all legislation and no enforcement.
The Nimrod accident enquiry reports today. Another attempt by the politicians and the politicians in uniform to spin the news about how good they are and that tosser spouting platitudes about heroes, what would he know, the complete waste of my tax pounds.
Anyway rant of the week over or is it? Nimrods replacement running 4 years late is what?
Yes you guessed it another Nimrod!
I am so glad that I dont fly in service aircraft any more!
So lets have some fun and remember dont forget kids can call your bluff as well!

Monday, 3 December 2007

Blogging from work during lunch

Time to share this mondays happy clips with thanks to John S and Mr FMT for these:
Do you have a boy racer problem?

Men, yes we just cant help it!

Maybe more later! I think I am out on site tonight with the mad paddies so fun and games ahead!

Sunday, 2 December 2007

A wet and windy weekend

Having spent yeaterday chaufering kids around to birthday parties instead of shooting or working the dogs. I took them out today and as Sassy is in season she is on the lead! So in a couple of days we'll be looking her stud dog up provided we can keep her sons from giving her the good news. I was rained off training today so whilst sorting out some pictures I found this:
Gundog training

This pup was from her last litter a couple of years ago and we probably will use the same dog as then unless we find a black and white dog in the meantime.

I was thinking about where I should have been and this came to mind:

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

It took all last weekend

But Richard and I finally got his tree up!
Thanks Richard!

Not forgetting Mr Bean

This old chestnut reared its head again thanks to Nigel, I thought I had lost that. I saw it in 2000 and was told that in NZ it was moved to after 9pm due to the language, I think its rather quaint:

I'd forgotten about this: Phoney Tony

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

And so it begins

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells"
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "These are Carols."
And So The Christmas Season Begins......

Thanks Richard
Oh and in keeping with the national news, Gordon, I'm David Abrahams and so's my wife! Can we have the £600, 000 back now please?
Hands up who thought the one eyed porrige wog didnt look shifty when asked directly whether he thought Harriet Harman had broken the law?
I didnt think so. Will Harriet be for the chop?
Now not forgetting this lady if that is a fair description.
Now a footballer can be slated and banned for 8 months for missing 1 dope test (cue sniggers0 but this lady expects us to believe that forgetting 3 in a row was a minor error and that all of a sudden she is competitng in China at the next Olympics.
When did Athletics become prodfessional. None of these sportsmen and women have real jobs and are funded by us full time.
That in itself isnt bad unless ofcourse you want to apply market pressures and use perfomance related pay!
Make the buggers win or get no funding, the British pair that won Gold in the Long Range Rifle at Seoul Olympics even paid their own air fare.
Typical tofu munching Guardian reading tossers.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

A morning walked up with the dogs

Well last night was the coldest of the season so far but that normally means a warm day. We started early to ensure we got the birds on our own ground and wahay the dogs worked well as did the method of walking up.
Over 30 birds flew over us and 2 fell to the guns. a cartridge to bird ratio of about 6 to one. Time to practice on the going away birds.
All is not lost I am working tomorrow, puppy training followed by some mortgage paying effort later on!

Thursday, 22 November 2007

Today I shall be totally

Unselfish (lazy) and devote my posting to an English Shooter His digs at the Government, NRA and Plod are worth a perusal. Thanks for Mr Free Market for bringing him to my attention. His comments about the NRA ring bells loud and clear. To all those shooters out there who have paid their dues and been either misrepresented or plain sold down the river dont keep quiet about it. We all know that the Notional Rifle Association exist to fund the activities of an elite few whilst paying lip service to the roots of the sport. This has to stop. The petty rules and political machinations of the NRA Council have done more damage to the sport of shooting than any incompetent Home Secretary could have imagined possible.
In fact the biggest enemy of the NRA is the NRA itself.
I thought we had turned a corner by running the open days but no the fees were rather high considering this was to get newcomers into the sport, the queuing was tortuous at some stands and the NRA decided that youths assisting clubs (providing time and weapons for free) wouldnt be entitled to the horrorbag lunch.
Now as a small business man I understand the loss leader principle. You fund advertising and give away incentives to encourage prospective buyers through your door.
What did the NRA do, probably asked its staff to work for free as there were no range fees charged that day? More than likely knowing their attitude.
Still enough of that back to my lunch and a perusal of the Army Rumour Service!

Time for a quick joke then:
The new Navy;
Details have been released regarding Britain 's next generation of fighting ships:
the Royal Navy is proud of the cutting edge capability of the fleet of Type 45 destroyers.
Costing £750 million, they have been designed to meet the needs of the21st century;
in addition to state of the art technology, weaponry, and guidance systems,
the ships will comply with the very latest employment, equality, health & safety and human rights legislation.
They will be able to remain at sea for several months and positivelybristle with facilities. For instance, the new user friendly crow's nestcomes equipped with wheelchair access.
Live ammunition has been replacedwith paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut downon the number of compensation claims.
Stress councillors and lawyers will be on duty 24hrs a day, and each ship will have it's own onboard industrial tribunal.
The crew will be 50/50 men and women, and balanced in accordance with the latest Home Office directives on race, gender, sexuality and disability.
Sailors will only have to work a maximum of 37hrs per week in line with Brussels Health & Safety rules even in wartime!
All bunks will be double occupancy, and the destroyers will all come equipped with a maternity ward and creche, situated on the same deck as the Gay Disco.
Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but cannabis will be allowed in the mess.
The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputationfor "Rum, Sodomy and the lash"; out goes the occasional rum ration which is to be replaced by Perrier water, although sodomy remains this has now been extended to include all ratings under 18. The lash will still be available but only by request.
Condoms can be obtained from the Bosun in a variety of flavours, except Capstan Full Strength.
Saluting officers has been abolished because it is elitist; it is to be replaced by the more informal "Hello Sailor".
All notices on boards will be printed in 37 different languages and braille.
Crew members will no longer be required to ask permission to grow beards or moustaches, even the women.The MOD is working on a new "Non specific" flag based on the controversial British Airways "Ethnic" tailfin design, because the white ensign is considered to be offensive to minorities.
Sea Trials are expected to take place soon, when the first of the new destroyers HMS Cautious, sets out on her maiden mission it will be escorting boat loads of illegal immigrants across the channel to ports onthe south coast.
The ship is due to be launched soon in a ceremony conducted by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull.
The ship will gently slide into the water to the tune of "In theNavy" by the Village People played by the Royal Marines.
The Prime Minister said that "While the ships reflected the very latest ofmodern thinking they were also capable of being upgraded to comply with any new legislation.
His final words were " Britain never, never waives the rules!"
Shamelessy nicked from an e mail this morning! With thanks to Killer Dave

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

A bad back and an evening in the club

Well I awoke with the mother of all back pains, being a bloke all pain is either terminal (yetI'll grin and bear it) or worse than child birth! Cutting the security chain that some knobber had vandalised the padlock on to one of our wood access gates put paid to almost 4 months of a pain free back. Its normally dragging deer carcasses around that does for me.

Any way I spent 1/2 a day at work followed by a trip to London to measure up for some cabling on one of a clients sites. Finish in time to get over to the club house for the regular monthly meeting. Now I'm not sure how many of you will recognise this place but I'm sure not many will have such a grand pile as a club house!
For those unused to seeing Bedlam at night here is a close up of a couple of the breechloaders out front:

For those of you still unenlightened here you go:

Despite there being a decent lecture (well more of a reminiscing) taking place last night I had to cut short my attendance due to a lack of trains back to where my car was!

The lecture would have started earlier but for the ongoing saga over the MoD and The NRA (Notional Rifle Association) who for many years have been content to sell us other type of shooting down the river as long as TR was preserved. 1st went self loading centre fire rifles. Ok thought the NRA no great loss, 2nd went pistols and they soon jumped on the historic section 7 bandwagon when they saw their revenues fall through the floor.

Now we have this MoD imposed muzzle energy limit of 3800 joules which to me is an insult as I no speakee euro crap! To add injury to insult we are to be asked to check zero every time we shoot regardless of the fact that many of our rifles that shoot in excess of the magical 2800 foot pounds of muzzle energy actually cannot leave the danger area behind the back stop as they are ballistically inferior to modern ammo otherwise we would all be using Sniders still!

There seems to be no simple answer apart from sod the lot of them! Time to get my rifles all listed as collection and sporting so I can miss deer as well as the backstop at Bisley!

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Baiting for boar

Today, Richard and I visited a couple of likely spots in one of our leased woods and one which I look after to see if the Boar are visiting.

They are well known down here but are notoriously difficult to see especially when you are armed and looking for one.

Walking your pet Highland Terrier aged 12 and if you are aged 80 then you are likely to see them and all of my deer and pheasants every day!

So we have resorted to habitat creation using Hog wild from Bushwear. This involves making a hole with post diggers and mixing grain with this attractant. Now thats ok as long as you read the packet first; we all do that dont we, luckily there was a feeder nearby so we robbed the grain from there first.

So first hole filled and off we went to a wood where we know Boar are active but we thought we would be armed first:
So 8 slugs in the tube and 5 more in the butt holder (snigger) and away we went.
Richard brought along a .22 just in case you understand, not that any of the bad boar that we werent going to see wouldnt be dealt with by an ounce and 1/4 of solid lead!
Part of the visit was to check on the ground after it was leased to a stalker and I put in a high seat for him covering the only possible ambush position.
Thats where we put the hog pit soon to be a wallow and in 2 weeks we will check again to see if it works. The only problem there is the wood is surrounded by orchards and maize coverstrips.
Ah well we shall see!

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Another one bites the dust

Well at least this time it was two, so well done lads. Despite the blogger image upload dying last night along with a couple more of charlies mates.

Today I borrowed at great personal risk the wifes new truck. It drove really well despite me being barred by the long haired CO from taking it either off road or anywhere outside the farmyard with any dirty smelly beaters on board. Her words by the way, pickers up I ask you complete snobs the lot of them. Anyway I drove it down with Chris who managed to lose his phone and Sampson in the travel cage in the back (that or lose his nuts) and his siblings and mum scrapping amongst each other at least till Brighton.

Today despite an ever present threat of rain it held together and over 30 birds were shot including several brace of the ducks at last!

Thanks to Culverwells in Robertsbridge for turning round the repairs on the truck in one day. I cant wait now for the money in the bank to build up enough to buy the wife the car she really wanted so I can have this truck!

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Thanks to Mr FMT for this one:

Reports back from the long haired 0A are that her darling stud dog has already attempted to eat the rear brake electrics in the back of her new car.

This is the guilty sod, a definate candidate for nuts off if he doesnt start behaving:

Monday, 12 November 2007

Well all things considered it wasnt too bad a day

I awoke after a few drinkies with the mother of all pains in my left ribs under my arm. I suspect the wife (for it is she) beat me to a pulp for snoring, (allegedly alcohol induced). Still driving to work was interesting.

Thanks to the Army Rumour Service for this one:

My attendance at the local parade was interesting, the British legion (drinks afterwards) has been sold and the local TAC were being queer for some strange reason!

I ended up at the Bowling alley watching my kids taking part in the county trials. A good thing too judging by what went on in town during the afternoon:

I'm not sure if the local MP will be able to sort anything out being as wet as the local boating lake but I'll keep an eye on him!

This afternoon I left work early to drive the wife over for to pick up her car.

Yes the one I love (my bank balance) and I have been seperated for the next 3 years again. Now time to sell the Frontera.

To be honest I tried to get financial authority from my head of accounts to buy one new when they came out a couple of years ago. I'm glad we waited as this model we picked up with a tow pack and back box is an ex demonstrator 11 months old with only 5000 miles on the clock. The discount was good and its a diesel automatic so I keep Madam happy and the bank!

About time I got something big enough to carry the dogs (all 9) and not have them barking for 2 hours at a time!

On the way back we dropped of a big 45 gallon juice container for my Keeper Chris to use as a Brine tank. He will make some hams and I will smoke them in my Bradley.

We got a chance to see the damage done when the woodman left the fires unnattended.

Make up your own mind but I happen to think he is a cnut!

E mail to the land agent with pictures has been sent!

Worse than this, there were still some burning from today at 5pm.

For those that need convincing of the need for a healthy lifestyle watch this:

For those worried about sex before marriage there is this: