Apparently Google has its knickers all in a twist over those cunts in the Eu and some shite about cookies. Frankly if they are biscuits then I will eat them, if you are concerned about this then fuck off somewhere else and read something else.

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Male grooming

In response to a question on male grooming where the question was how to deal with grey hair around the choccy starfish.
One respondent stated that a wax job was in order and this was countered with a value for money suggestion;
"Sod the expense of waxing, there are much cheaper ways of doing it.

Buy a toffee apple, bung it in the microwave for 60 seconds till the sugar melts...

Bend over and spread cheeks

Get wife to apply toffee apple to Rusty Sherrifs badge area, leave for 60 seconds them tell her to pull quickly.

Try to ignore her hysterical laughing as you lie on the floor in foetal position, begging to die.

Congratulations, you have saved £40!"
As an aside Sassy and I went stalking today. After all the trials and tribulations of recent months we managed to find the time to spend 2 hours sat in a doe box with only the squirrels and birds for company.

This is a doe box, just high enough to get your scent above the deer. Below is Sassy sat down enjoying the lack of view and waiting for my sandwiches. We saw three Fallow does on the way in but didn't get into a shooting position and saw more on the way home but by then I was in the truck.


The Suburban Bushwacker said...

Very metrosexual of you BB, good to see you posting again

Hippo said...

I am still slack jawed at the twisted vanity of any male who felt the need to examine his own sphincter for grey hairs! Or is this a Huntin' and Shootin' set tradition I have so far avoided... along with a stirrup cup, a brown eye winking parade?

Bambibasher said...

Trust me its something folk with too much time on their hands get up to. I blame the lack of national service and the subsequent lack of bulling work boots into your later life!
Harrumphs and rustles the telegraph.
I still find it amusing to read about though, remember the VEET episode?

Hippo said...

Christ! Who could forget the VEET episode!

I recall in Mozambique a fellow deminer and ex-Guards Officer insisting on my advice regarding the most appalling case of dhobi rash occasioned knob rot I have ever had the misfortune to consider. As team medic (in addition to my other, more soldierly duties) I had an extensive resuscitation pack but all I could find remotely useful therein was a tin of Army F&B powder the contents of which I told my patient to spread liberally over his suppurating tackle. You could hear him screaming in the next province.

I see that NHS doctors, particularly those working in A&E are complaining at the number of time wasters they have to deal with. From experience, I have found that if disturbing the medico turns out to be a most painful experience, those patients that do pluck up the courage are generally in fear of death and so worth the effort.

Jack Jeffs said...

"This is a doe box, just high enough to get your scent above the deer."
A commonly held belief...... but they do no such thing.

At best they slightly reduce the volume of scent disbursed down wind and provide a convenient place of concealment whilst helping to ensure the user remains out of the prevailing weather conditions during the duration of his or her usage of said box.

On the Veet front another great pain producer is the application of Deep Heat muscle spray. Seen done, but never personally endured.

Cro Magnon said...

I no longer shoot, but I see so many Roe Deer about whilst walking the dogs, that I would have thought that just wandering about with the gun would be far more positive than sitting in a box for hours on end. I usually see several, well within range.

Bambibasher said...

The ground around is so wet that even standing still is noisy and uncomfortable at the moment! The high seats and boxes are useful when several riflemen are in the woods at the same time, its just safer if everyone is in their own area!