Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Yorkshire (now you know why they like themselves so much)

Subject: When God Created Yorkshire

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"
...
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it.

I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries.

"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Yorkshire , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Yorkshire are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things"

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "Right next to Yorkshire is Lancashire .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"

3 comments:

Hippo said...

You really have no problem alienating half your readers, do you?

Bambibasher said...

Half my readers? you mean one person is reading this in Lancashire?
Get away!

Its only humour after all and as anonymous pointed out it has been used both ways. The T lady and I were both born in Lancs which is Gods own county and yesterday they beat the Tykes at Old Trafford in the Roses 20-20 match.

Hippo said...

And it was funny!

Although my father was born in Andover, his family came from Liverpool. He used to take us to see our great aunt Alice who lived in Rainford. She made the finest steak and kidney pudding in the world and still had an outside khazi. As kids we thought her place was brilliant. At his funeral I met loads of relatives I never knew I had, most of them Liverpool police officers and the rest all from Lancs.