Thursday, 7 March 2013

Processed meat is bad for you

Well according to the yoghurt knitters at the BBC, what the guardian reading wankers dont tell your is that its the quality of your food is what marks you down for an early grave! Yes if you buy top quality sausages and bacon and are careful with the amount of salt in your diet then you have every chance of living as long as those publicly funded wankers in White City but that doesnt make headlines does it?
Also the BBC are spouting national plans for culling 50% of the UK deer population based upon figures taken around Thetford forest.
Now if like me you like deer (and I really do) you will also know that the Thetford Forest is one of the biggest deer herds in the country.
So basing a national cull plan upon a selective figure taken from the known highest concentration of deer in England is certainly poor policy based upon shit science.
Typically Herrding deer like Fallow, Reds and Sika cause the big damage (apart from Roe fraying) yet tend to move between feeding and laying up grounds leaving the resident family grouping deer like Roe to cop the blame.

Sounds a bit like politics in this country doesnt it?
Ah well back to making lunch for tomorrows trip to work!

6 comments:

Hippo said...

Public Health Bulletin from the Minister of Public Health, Sir Fat Hippo of the Pond.

Salt is an essential component in our diet.

It is also understood that too much salt can be detrimental to health.

I have it on good authority that sweat contains salt.

Fat Hippo recommends that you eat what the hell you want so long as you balance the intake with something called, 'Hard Work'

The Ministry of Labour will issue a seperate bulletin giving the definition of 'Hard Work', as ignorance of this appears endemic.

Hippo said...

Erm, can I still be prosecuted for 'accidentally' culling a deer on Thetford ranges back in the eoghties? I was tasked there to dispose of a bling 155mm HE shell so had the range to myself. Whenever I was tasked to Thetford I always took my .357 S&W handgun as the range manager would always allow me a plink on the target range. So there I was, completely alone in the middle of the range with only an unexploded artillery round for company and I couldn't resist the temptation for a sort of free, open air plink. I got the gun out of the back of the van, loaded it and turned round just in time to see a deer leap over the track. It was the best snap shot I ever pulled.

I am sorry, Bambibasher, I just couldn't help myself. That as an excuse at my court martial I know would be pretty thin but I did get away with it as everyone understood the contents of our bomb wagons were classified.

Living on the patch at Colchester Garrison, I could hardly gut it in the garden. You should have seen my wife's face when I did the job in the bath.

Anyway, you are as usual, spot on. The Thetford herd has to be one of the biggest in the country. It was the same at 3 Base Ammunition Depot in Germany, the place was heaving with deer and wild boar. And look at all the deer on Bovington ranges in Dorset.

Hunters, not politicians are best suited to manage wildlife. Just keep the over enthusiastic young officers at bay.

Bambibasher said...

Ministry of work, never, I'd rather cut salt intake, as for the deer revolver incident was it a red?
You are forgiven!

Hippo said...

You see, there I have the advantage of you. In this climate I can just sit in my chair drinking G&T's and sweat all the extra salt out.

The thing I shot was big and brown, had two trees growing out of its head and bollocks the size of coconuts. It was a bit red after I shot it and very red when I gutted it. It was a red though.

Thank you for forgiving me. Can I ask for a few other offences to be taken into consideration?

We were also issued with a five shot semi-automatic Browning shotgun that pheasants just insisted in flying in front of. We were just trying to scare them away, honest.

Bambibasher said...

Hippo sir, you are admonished.

Hippo said...

Ah. Admonished. That would be litter picking duty or counting stamps as part of the post office audit Sir? Experienced as I am, I am pretty good at both...

Please, though, I beg you Sir, don't ask me to audit the Sgts Mess acounts, they are way cleverer than I am and every time I go in there they keep making me ring that bell above their bar that costs me loads of money every time.