Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells"
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "These are Carols."
And So The Christmas Season Begins......
Oh and in keeping with the national news, Gordon, I'm David Abrahams and so's my wife! Can we have the £600, 000 back now please?
Hands up who thought the one eyed porrige wog didnt look shifty when asked directly whether he thought Harriet Harman had broken the law?
I didnt think so. Will Harriet be for the chop?
Now not forgetting this lady if that is a fair description.
Now a footballer can be slated and banned for 8 months for missing 1 dope test (cue sniggers0 but this lady expects us to believe that forgetting 3 in a row was a minor error and that all of a sudden she is competitng in China at the next Olympics.
When did Athletics become prodfessional. None of these sportsmen and women have real jobs and are funded by us full time.
That in itself isnt bad unless ofcourse you want to apply market pressures and use perfomance related pay!
Make the buggers win or get no funding, the British pair that won Gold in the Long Range Rifle at Seoul Olympics even paid their own air fare.
Typical tofu munching Guardian reading tossers.